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My Pages
1986 hits
Don't Drink
and Draw
and Draw
"Lost your cat? Look under my tires"
Snow on the River
Over thousands of mountains, no bird flies
Over thousands of paths there is no footprints
On a lonely boat sits an old man with a bamboo hat and cape,
Fishing silently in a snowy river
Liu Tsung-yuan (773-819)
Over thousands of mountains, no bird flies
Over thousands of paths there is no footprints
On a lonely boat sits an old man with a bamboo hat and cape,
Fishing silently in a snowy river
Liu Tsung-yuan (773-819)
Everything's F*cking Wonderful!!!
Ode to the Wooden Head
Oh wooden head,
Why do you stare at me after a tiresome day of school?
I see your elderly, wrinkled eyes
Your blank, featureless face
Paint that is smothered on as if decorated so foolishly
I am a slave to you, wooden head
Why are you are as lonely and depressed as a bird in a cage?
I smell the worn, deep scent of kindling when I come close
You are a genuinely cursed monstrosity
Meant to scare some unsuspecting couple in a horror movie
Oh wooden head,
You are attached to me like a flea to a dog
You follow me in my thoughts
You watch me from a dark, towering ledge up above
You are my snooping security camera
Oh wooden head,
I am part of you
My individuality is engraved into you by an infuriating jester
The memory haunts me like a ghost
“What is your name?” The jester asks wickedly
I watch him engrave my identity into your neck
Drops of sweat run down by back
I am distressed as a kitten in a dark alleyway
“Now you must pay for this” The jester says viciously
My parents came in to speak with the fool
They let off their fireworks and burst into argument
I stood behind them, acting as small as a mouse
You glared at me with your evil eyes in that fool’s hand
My anger in you runs like an angry bull, ready to charge
Yet, you teach me a valuable lessen I will not forget
Oh wooden head,
Thank you for this experience
I shall never trust strangers again
Oh wooden head,
Why do you stare at me after a tiresome day of school?
I see your elderly, wrinkled eyes
Your blank, featureless face
Paint that is smothered on as if decorated so foolishly
I am a slave to you, wooden head
Why are you are as lonely and depressed as a bird in a cage?
I smell the worn, deep scent of kindling when I come close
You are a genuinely cursed monstrosity
Meant to scare some unsuspecting couple in a horror movie
Oh wooden head,
You are attached to me like a flea to a dog
You follow me in my thoughts
You watch me from a dark, towering ledge up above
You are my snooping security camera
Oh wooden head,
I am part of you
My individuality is engraved into you by an infuriating jester
The memory haunts me like a ghost
“What is your name?” The jester asks wickedly
I watch him engrave my identity into your neck
Drops of sweat run down by back
I am distressed as a kitten in a dark alleyway
“Now you must pay for this” The jester says viciously
My parents came in to speak with the fool
They let off their fireworks and burst into argument
I stood behind them, acting as small as a mouse
You glared at me with your evil eyes in that fool’s hand
My anger in you runs like an angry bull, ready to charge
Yet, you teach me a valuable lessen I will not forget
Oh wooden head,
Thank you for this experience
I shall never trust strangers again
I remember first seeing him on the television, he was advertising his most notable product, OxiClean, the incredible stain remover. I kept on thinking, there is no one on the planet who can give such a wild roar to the audience as him. He talked with such enthusiasm and pride, and he really put meaning behind every word that he said. He would go beyond any limit just to show the usefulness of all the products he advertised. I remember watching his show Pitchmen on Discovery Channel a few weeks before he passed away. He smashed his hand with a hammer just to show how tough some shoe insole is. Not only that, but he even agreed to let his hand get run over by a car. There has never been and will never been anyone with that much enthusiasm towards advertising products for everyday life. He was clearly dedicated to fulfilling his job as a pitchman. We probably all remember seeing some advertisement featuring Billy Mays while he was alive. The Awesome Auger, Big City Slider Station, Gopher, Hercules Hook, Kaboom!, Mighty Mendit, Mighty Putty, Orange Glo, and most importantly, OxiClean, were among some of the many products that Billy Mays had to offer consumers.
There was only one man on the face of the Earth whose massive yelling power has never bothered a single soul. His methods of persuasion were just out of this world; he attracted the spending of many consumers to buy the wide variety of products he had to offer. He had made just so many inventors’ dreams come true. With his majestic all-powerful beard, he used his signature facial expression to woo people from all around. Billy Mays, who has been dead for exactly three months, will never be forgotten. He is a strong figurehead in the history of advertising.
There was only one man on the face of the Earth whose massive yelling power has never bothered a single soul. His methods of persuasion were just out of this world; he attracted the spending of many consumers to buy the wide variety of products he had to offer. He had made just so many inventors’ dreams come true. With his majestic all-powerful beard, he used his signature facial expression to woo people from all around. Billy Mays, who has been dead for exactly three months, will never be forgotten. He is a strong figurehead in the history of advertising.
